Today I was watching the movie “An Affair to Remember” and the scene right after Deborah Kerr was hit by the car and she is lying in the hospital room yelling for the man she was to marry that day, I thought about how she said ‘just find me a job and I’ll get through this’. How, if she just went on with her life, she wouldn’t have to deal with what just happened, the fact that she was paralyzed. Denial. Isn’t that so true that not dealing with what has happened, then life is a lot easier? Isn’t it easier to pretend that life is exactly how it use to be and hadn’t changed one bit. Denial.
Life does change.
Life does change, change daily and it is hard for those of us that deal with so much pain and suffering to think that it can’t get any worse. But it can and where do we go from there? Living life with changes can be difficult but it can be an adventurous, How do you want to look at it?
Are you living with Denial
Denial is something that anyone and everyone is susceptible to. While it won’t kill you, it can certainly dampen your day, your job, and your life. Does that sound alarming? It most definitely should and, if you are starting to have doubts, here are 7 of the most important signs which can help you realize if you are living in denial or not:
- I Am Above Failure
So you think that you are somehow far too talented, hard-working or knowledgeable and that everything you touch will turn into gold? Sorry to burst your bubble there, but we humans are flawed by nature so that, my friend, I?m afraid that you may just be living in denial if you have such a way of thinking
- It’s Impossible to Take Me by Surprise
If you think that being taken by surprise is impossible if you have everything planned then I have one questions: how is life in that fantasy world of yours treating you? Yes, planning ahead is always recommended but thinking that you can actually be able to prepare for absolutely everything is just plain foolish on your part.
- If You Want Something Done Right, Do It Yourself
Do you think that others should never be trusted and do you think that, if you want something done right, you should do it yourself? Aren’t you giving yourself just a little bit too much credit there? It may just be me, but you most definitely don’t strike me as a person with his or her feet on the ground.
- I’m Never at Fault
Others are always at fault, aren’t they? You keep doing everything right and they just ruin things for you, do they? Sorry to have to say this, but not assuming responsibility is one of the most obvious signs that you are living in denial.
- Everything Has an Excuse
“I’m not going to do this because…”. “I would have done that, if not for…”. Do you somehow manage to find excuses for everything? Good for you, maybe you will find someone who pays you for that, but for the time being, your attitude is yet another sign that you are simply living in a fantasy world.
- Everyone Else is Wrong
Are all of the people who don’t agree with you clueless? Are they that ignorant, can’t they understand your brilliance? I’m sorry but, if that’s the way you see things, I am afraid that the problem lies elsewhere. One tip: it’s not with everyone else.
- It’s All One Big Conspiracy I Tell You
Does it seem that everyone and their dog is working against you? Are you just a poor innocent victim in what seems to be one huge conspiracy against you? In that case, have you considered getting some help? No, everyone is not conspiring against you, and it’s about time you stopped living in denial and started seeing how things actually stand
But there’s a big difference between attaching pithy labels to a problem and coming up with a pragmatic way to identify a major failure mode before it happens. It turns out that there are plenty of warning signs when a person is too close to a situation and can’t see the forest for the trees.1 1