I find myself missing me!

Where you someone else before this all happened?  Before life took over and changed everything? Where you someone else in a past lifetime that you are no longer that person?

I have had two lives….one before chronic pain and chronic illness, and now.  I have been two people in this lifetime. At first, I was angry and now I get sad when I think of that other person. The life that I once lived, pain-free.  But this isn’t a way to live.   Remembering how it used to be is very normal but wishing and hoping for that life back is a lot.

I used to pray, hoping and wishing to be the same person I used to be. I wanted to go back to that person who lived life without any pain and not worrying about my health. But then I thought about the person that I became today. I would lose that person and all that I have become.  Is it worth going backward in life or do we look ahead?  I think we are dished out all that we can handle. And the more we handle the better we become in our new life.

Having to live two different lives can be hard for most people. But the faster we accept it and deal with the fact that life has changed, the faster we can get on with our new life. Acceptance is the hardest thing to do.  When you try to deal with the fact that your life is different, the easier it is for you to get on with your new life.

Even though life changes, it doesn’t mean it will be all bad.  Yes, it might be hard to accept but wouldn’t you rather try to deal with the changes than shut down?  Wouldn’t you rather be living the life you have now that try to fight it to go backward? Try to find the positive in the new life.  There is always good that will happen, you just need to find it.  Spend each day finding the good.  Finding the positive, and finding the reason to get up every day.

Many of us spend each day wondering why.  Let’s start wondering why not.  Let’s start finding that piece every day that makes it a good day. There are things you can do to start help find the positive.  Start a journal.  Write about all the good that happens each.  Start a gratitude journal. Write about all the things that you are grateful for each day.  Find 2-5 things that stand out and write it down.  At first, it might be hard but then the pieces of the day that are good will start to stand out more and more.

Try not living in the past but finding the positive each day.  Know that who you one where isn’t gone, just is different now. That isn’t always a bad thing.  Do what you can to find peace with the new “you”.  And remember that moving forward is the best thing for you.

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