Having hard days, with pain searing through my body is tough enough but having people not get it, is harder. Have you ever just wanted to throw your arms up and wanted to give up explaining “it” to people? Have you ever thought that there is not one single person on this earth that gets “it”?
Living in constant pain is something that I have lived with now for 8 years. Some days I feel so alone and scared because there aren’t words out there to explain exactly how I am feeling. I have tried, believe me, tried hard to explain what it is like and I get the blank looks. Or some people say that they understand what I am going through because one winter, they pulled a muscle in their back and they were out of commission for a week. A week? I would die for a week. I would beg and plead for a week.
What to tell someone?
I’ve learned over the years to become a good liar when it comes to rating my pain. Anyone will ask me how I am doing and without hesitation, I will tell that person that ‘I’m good, hanging in there’. Hanging in there? What exactly does that mean? To most people, that means that it is not that bad and they could get through it if they had to. When in reality, I’m not sure that many people would be able to make it through one day.
Am I a superhero?
I’m sure that many reading this is thinking that I’m pretty full of myself or it’s not really that bad. I’m sure that there are several that think I am exaggerating. I’m sure that there are some that think that I have super powers. But no matter what others think, I know the pain that I feel every day. I know that getting out of bed is one of the hardest things I do on any given day. When was the last time did you have to figure out how to get out of bed with the least amount of pain? Or have you ever had to ask your significant other to come help you get out of bed because the pain was ripping through you so much that really all you wanted to do was die?
I don’t think of myself as anything special or different except I live with daily pain. I’ve excepted that and know that this is going to be the way I am for the rest of my life. I am okay with that. I may be filled with titanium, but that doesn’t make me bulletproof. It just makes me someone that lives a life in pain. I’m not any better than you, just different.
Let it go!
I think the best advice I could ever give someone is, not to let it get to you. When you try and explain it to someone who hasn’t lived a life like you, then don’t waste the time trying to make others understand. Own your pain, it’s your life after all but making someone else get it might not be worth it. Let it go! You know what you go through on a daily basis and you know what you live with. That has to be enough because you will start to use energy to get someone to understand you, that you might not have. Is it exhausting just to take a shower? Or is it impossible, like me, not to pick up something from the floor? If you answered yes, then you don’t have extra energy to waste.
It is okay not to have others get it and not to feel sorry for you. What does that accomplish anyways? Besides the fact that they might get what you go through on a daily basis, they still will not fully understand what it is like. You know deep down inside that you make it work. Accept the fact that you are my superhero. Because I understand what it is like. I may not get the exact way that you feel on a daily basis, but I can sympathize with you and try and understand.
We need to stick together. We are bonded in a way that many will never understand. I will be there for you. I know that everyday is a different day and some days you won’t need me and other days you will need more. I know this because this is how it is for me. Some days I am on top of the world and other days I am wishing the world away. But if we stick together, we can be each other superheroes and make it through this world in one piece.1