There are days when the sun is shining, the birds are singing. Pain is the farthest thing from your mind. You feel happy and calm. Your day isn’t filled with worrying about having enough spoonies. You just seem to know that there will be enough no matter what.
These are the “golden” days. These are days that are unfortunately far and few between. You have learned over the years to cherish these days. You hold on to these days as if it is your last breath of air for your body. Gasping deeply taking that last, treasured breath. And as you lay there expecting it all to be over with, something happens and you are no longer begging for your last ounce of life in that very minute. But instead, you are feeling a new beginning. Almost a rebirth of sorts for your old, tired body.There is a glowing light, guiding you in the right directions. You head in that direction, thinking that there would be a magnificent, object or person that has to lead you out of this dark, scary part of your life and right into the perfect, most serene, most beautiful place of all,
You get to the end of the bright light and there isn’t anything that resembles a large, magnificent person or item that hold the ability to bring you out of the darkness and into the light. There is nothing that was strong enough or worthy enough to be able to lift you out of depression and back to a “normal” mood. Do you continue or give up at that point.7
There might not be sun shining every day. There might not be a someone there to pull you out of the darkness, the darkness we so commonly find when dealing with pain on a daily basis. And it might seem too hard to travel down that road anymore. We fight the will to move along because fighting that pain takes all the strength out of us. So is traveling down the road of life still worth the time and pain that is involved? I honestly hope so.
I may not have the answers to how to deal with the darkness. I might not know how to fight and continue on. But I do know that even though life can be hard and difficult at times, life is still worth the hard days. The days that we feel there won’t be enough spoons are worth living. Fighting the darkness takes one strong person, and I believe that you have it in you to fight.
You make it this far, haven’t you? You made it down the road that you thought you would never make it down. You close your eyes at night, begging to have the pain taken away, and you wake to the same old life with the same old pain. What is that telling you? I believe that it’s telling you that you are strong enough to live this life filled with pain. I believe that you are the strongest when it’s the darkest of the days.
Life is all about finding the sunshine in the darkest of days. When you can’t lift your head from the pillow because the pain is so bad, but you can still hear those birds sing in the morning sunshine. Finding the sunshine in the smallest of things is what life is all about. Sticking around and making it down that road of life maybe one of the hardest things you do, but you do it. Day in and day out. You take care of yourself and you get yourself up to see the sunshine That’s what matters. That’s all that matters.
Have faith in yourself and know that you are strong enough to get through this. Because one day, the pain will be gone, but so might be that road. You need to look at the scenic highways and the lonely roadsides. See the morning sunshine but also the nighttime darkness. Don’t fear the darkness. But instead, embrace the darkness along with the sunshine and see that life continues with both.
Find your sunshine, your darkness, and most importantly your road that you need to travel. Don’t give into the pain that is pressuring you daily. Fight the pain with your deepest bit of energy that you have. Because I believe that if you give this life a chance, it will also give you more that you are expecting. There is goodness out there and there are reasons to fight to forge on. Find that reason and stick to it. Fight hard, fight daily, and fight with all your might.
Part II to be coming out soon “How to fight on”