Day 75 – Dear Diary


Dear diary,

What a day!  I had an early morning doctor appointment down south.  Woke to a few inches of snow, but knew the roads were going to be crappy.  Sure enough, two hours to get to the appointment, which should have only taken me thirty minutes. Another hour just to get home.  All that being said and that doesn’t compare to the horrible appointment that I had.

Not only was the doctor late, and when I say late, I’m talking an hour late, he wouldn’t listen to what I said.  He had it in his mind how things were going to go, and wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say, This was my pain management doctor, and I had spoken with my surgeon about what medications I need to be on, and when I need to take it. You see, I’m on a medication that blocks how pain medications work, and doesn’t let me get a “high” off them anymore.  I need a full two weeks for this to get out of my system before surgery.  This new doctor wanted me to stop the old meds two days before surgery and there is a good chance that the pain medications in the hospital won’t be effective on me.

I tried to bring this up and discuss this with him, he refused to listen to me and ended the appointment. I also asked about after the surgery and if he would be able to put me back on the medication that I take now, he wouldn’t answer me and just said he wants me to have a nerve stimulator put into my back. A nerve stimulator?  What? Why?  Haven’t I’ve been functioning just fine on the meds that I’ve been taking and why change it? Plus, who knows with this surgery, I could possibly feel a lot better after this surgery.

I also went today and got a handicap plaque for my car.  What a surreal feeling to be listed as permanently handicapped. My hands were sweating the whole time getting it but I’m glad I finally did.  Don’t know if I every plan on using it but it’s nice to know that it’s there in case that I need it.  Do you have one?  How did you feel when you got yours?  Was it  relief or was it hard for you?

Two weeks till surgery and now the nerves are setting in.  I am dreaming about the surgery and what it’s like afterward.  I think it’s so much better for someone to be going into surgery and never had it done before. Knowing what is going to happen and how you feel afterward is not a benefit.  I just keep thinking about the amount of pain I will be in and hoping that they can control the pain. Sometimes the pain meds work other times it just takes the edge off.  Have you ever had surgery where you have done it before and you know the outcome?  How did you handle it prior to the surgery? Did it bring you comfort or did it make it worse for you?

That’s about all for right now.  Let me know in the comments how your week is going.  How are you handling chronic pain or a chronic illness? Or is there anything new that has been going on with your life? Let us all know so we can celebrate with you or maybe give you words of encouragement!

Until next time……..

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