Day 7- Dear Diary

Dear Diary-

Who knew that taking a small trip over a gas hose can throw your body into a tail spin. Woke up this morning and felt like my body went through a small world war 3 of its own. I’ve spent most of the day in bed resting and sleeping. I know its exactly what my body and mind needs.

I was thinking about how this week went and how its amazing that my mindset can be controlled by the people that I allow in my life. Meaning that I am more depressed the less Im active and with others. Depression has been such a part of my life for the longest time but so where the wrong people.  This is the first time in 40 pus years that I am in more control of those I allow close to  me.  I used to allow anyone that would give me attention or need something into my life and that made me more depressed than I ever. Just because someone is in your life doesn’t mean that they are suppose to be in your life.  I think people who suffer with chronic pain take anyone that shows any interest in them even its not always the right person.  Just because you feel broken doesn’t mean you are or doesn’t mean you dont deserve special, caring, and loving people in your life.

Just recently I had two past friends come back into my life.  For the sake of their identity, we will call them Beth and Crystal. Anyways, I didn’t realize how lonely I was and how much its important to have the right people there for you.  We all had a common friend, lets call her Sarah and make her British and that for some reason, I allowed her to control my life and and helped me to think that I didn’t need Beth and Crystal.  After all, I have a husband, kids, and family.  Who needs friends,  believe it or not, I do, and I believe we all need others in our life.  Living with chronic “any thing” like pain, addiction, sorrow, hardship, health, and so on doesn’t make you a person that isn’t allowed to have friends that accept you as you are. There is no rule or law that says you aren’t a person who doesn’t deserve friendship, love, or anything else that people without chronic anything have.

I believe that the big reason that people come into our life at certain times is because God, the universal, or your spiritual being is showing you what a good person you are and all you need to do it open your eyes and see that.  Don’t let that one person, or two people in my case,  pass and that an opportunity of a lifetime to share yourself with someone else. If you are lucky enough to have those people in your life, thank them.  Beth and Crystal, thank you for making my life better by having you in it!

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And until tomorrow……..

 

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