Have you ever notice those with chronic pain and chronic illness are always apologizing for thing we do or don’t do? Don’t you think that we deal with enough crap to have to continuously apologize for basic life? I know that day in and day out I apologize for not feeling good, for canceling on people, and for things I have to deal with all the time that others don’t. Here is a list of items that we never should apologize for and we need to stop being sorry for living our life.
Never apologize for saying NO
This has been such a hard one for me to get use to. I used to say yes to everyone and everything that I forgot about my needs. I would say yes to every procedure the doctors would want me to do. I would do research about that procedure, talk to others, and still say yes. And in the long run, it was the worse thing for me to do. Say no, its your body and you have the right to choose what to do.
Never apologize for needing alone time
I have written another post as to why it is important to alone time. Think of it as a way to recuperate and regenerate yourself. Alone time or “Me time” is healthy for those that have a chronic illness or not. We all need our time to spend with just ourselves and feel refreshed. I know when I havent had “me time” in a long time because I become agitated and irritable , especially with my kids. Alone time for me centers myself and reminds me that I’m doing the best I can and that ok. Here is my post on “me time” http://wp.me/p7a1rn-fR
Never apologize for needing help
Why is it that when we can’t do something or think we can’t do something the way we ask for help is “I’m sorry to bother you, but I need help with…….”. Is everyone in this world able to do everything all the time and just because we have a chronic illness, we need to apologize for it? I’m going to say this one last time but I’m sorry that I can’t function just like everyone else and I need help from time to time. There, ,said it and won’t be saying it again.
Never apologize for a messy house
I’ve had people want to come to my house and help me with things, like cooking and what not. I say no all because my house is “lived” in and not always the neatest. I am lucky that I do get maids once a month to come in and clean the bathrooms, kitchen, and floors. That was an amazing gift from my in-laws for Christmas last year. But there are times that my house looks like World War III hit it. This isn’t something we should ever apologize for. I can’t do the floors, toilet, and tub in my house and my wonderful husband cleans the kitchen all the time. Ask for help and it’s ok to need it. Get to that place in your life and know what you can do and can’t. What you can’t do, find others to do it.
Never apologize for how you are feeling
You can’t change how you feel so why are you apologizing for it? Those that don’t feel pain and don’t have to deal with a chronic illness arent walking around saying “sorry, I’m feeling great today”. So why do we apologize for not feeling so great? I think it comes down to one word and that is guilt. We feel guilty for not feeling wonderful all the time and we feel guilty for having a rough day. Is that in our capacity to change how we are feeling? We can try but if it’s a bad day, then it’s a bad day!
Hopefully these are easy things to start with and change in your daily life. Pick one reason not to apologize tomorrow and see just how good you feel!